You can come out of the house now: Good manners are back in style(很成功的). But there’s always going to be someone who will rain on your parade. We consulted(咨询) Judith Martin and civility expert P. M. Forni for their tips on how to behave like a human being even when you’re tested.
Presume goodwill. “This gives the other person a face-saving way to change his or her behavior. Any diplomat(外交官) will tell you that the way to negotiate(谈判) is to give people a graceful way to do what you want them to do,” says Martin.
Don’t fight rudeness with rudeness. “When people encounter(偶然遭遇) rude behavior in others, they often retaliate(反击) with rude behavior,” says Martin. “This doubles the amount of rudeness—it doesn’t reduce it.”
Remain calm. “Nowadays, everyone comes out swinging(愉快活跃的),” says Martin. “[But] we do have to control our tempers—that’s civilization.”
Practice restraint. “If it’s something minor from a stranger, ignore(无视) rude behavior,” says Forni. “If it’s from a spouse, friend, or coworker, address(讲明) it in a polite, clear, positive way.”
Teach good manners early. “When that’s done,” says Forni, “children are less likely to become narcissistic(自恋的) and abusive(具攻击性的) adults.”