The Colonel says, "I need you to change the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican (梵蒂冈, 罗马教廷)."
The Pope replies, "I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words." So the Colonel hangs up.
After another month of dismal (起忧郁或沮丧的) sales, the Colonel panics ( 恐慌), and calls again. "Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'"
And the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us to support many charities (慈善, 施舍). But, again, I must decline. It is the Lord's prayer (祈祷文；祈祷), and I can't change the words."
So the Colonel gives up again. After two more months of terrible sales. The Colonel gets desperate. "This is my final offer, your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken' I will donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you."
So the next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops (主教) and he says, "I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about the bad news. The Pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."
One of life's disappointments is discovering that the man who writes the bank's ads is not the one who makes the loans.
lemming 旅鼠：一种体形短小但很健壮的啮齿目动物
Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four. The nine year old grabs a box of tampons (卫生棉条) from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out (结帐).
The cashier (出纳员) asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"
The nine year old replies "Nope, not for my mom."
Without thinking, the cashier responded "Well, they must be for your sister then?"
The nine year old quipped, "Nope, not for my sister either."
The cashier had now become curious "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?"
The nine year old says "They're for my four year old little brother."
The cashier is surprised "Your four year old little brother??"
The nine year old explains: "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can't do either of them!"
Advertisers do it publicly.
Advertisers do it originally.
Advertisers do it with a lot of noise.
Advertisers do it within thirty seconds.
Advertisers do it with promises to be the best.
Advertisers use the "new, improved" method.
Advertisers just do it.
How many advertisers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because, look! It's getting brighter! It's definitely getting brighter !!! None. "There is no need to change the light bulb. Recent surveys show growing confidence in the light bulb lighting up again." Two. One to screw it in, and a second to hand out leaflets (散页印刷品). Three. One to change the light bulb and two to hold a large billboard [(户外)布告板, 揭示栏, 广告牌] saying "Here we screw in the best light bulb money can buy."
How many Burger King advertisers does it take to change a light bulb? None. "I can't change my light bulb. But I can change my burger to a Burger King burger."
How many art directors does it take to change a light bulb? "Does it have to be a light bulb?" Seven. One to change the bulb, and six to design the T-shirt.