For years I had been telling my friend Pete that he ate too much fast food, but he always denied it. One day he admitted I was right. "What changed your mind?"
"My grandson. When my daughter told him I was coming to visit, he asked, 'Grandpa from Florida, or Grandpa from Pizza Hut?' "
As the stranger enters a country store, he spots(看到) a sign: "Danger! Beware of Dog!" Inside, he sees a harmless old hound asleep in the middle of the floor.
"Is that the dog we're supposed to beware of?" he asks the owner.
"That's him," comes the reply.
"He doesn't look dangerous to me. Why would you post that sign?"
"Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."
We purchased(购买) an old home in northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching, and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation(隔热、隔音). "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared.
One November night the temperature plunged(骤降) to below zero, and we woke up to find interior(内部的) walls covered with frost(霜). My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a brief conversation, he hung up. "For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter."
After ten years of widowhood(守寡), I remarried. Leaving work one wintry(冬天的) evening, I told a colleague that it was very gratifying(令人满足的) to once again have someone worry about me if the roads were icy. My new husband would be awaiting my arrival, I said, and would hurry out to meet me at the car.
I couldn't have been more right. As I pulled into the driveway, my husband burst out the door and came up to me. Rubbing our new car, he anxiously queried(质疑), "Did you get salt on it?"
Overheard at the dinosaur(恐龙) exhibit(展出) in Disney's Animal Kingdom park: a confused woman complaining to her friend, "How could they possibly know the names of all those dinosaurs if they died 75 million years ago? And another thing, how do we even know they were called dinosaurs?"